Perspective Shift

Today my world view shifted.
I looked out a window whose shades have been drawn.
I've likened life to a ladder,
Stepping on rungs of the present
That rest on the foundation of past experience
To ascend (note the connotation of "progress")
To the future.
An upward journey.
To repeat experiences is failure.
Like the game of Chutes and Ladders.
That's the image I've sculpted,
The script I have written.
By that standard, I feel like a loser.
I've barely climbed out of the slime!
This was a day I drew back the curtains
And saw an ocean, no ladder.
A heap of equal potentials.
No hierarchy.
No up = success or down = failure.
Just movement like breath,
Stirring waves of awareness.
Gently lifting dross to the surface.
Letting light play with it
Wind stir it.
The rhythm of the tides shift it.
And then awareness subsides for a while.
Something new arises.
Life isn't a series of steps!
Life is waves!
This was a day I jumped off the ladder
Into the water.
Abandoned judgement and effort,
Linear seeking,
The journey of Will.
This was a day to be one with the ocean,
To wash up on the beach
Exposing new pebbles,
Be warmed by the sun.
Then slowly be drawn, somewhat changed,
Back to Source.
Mix with the wisdom of the deep,
Recharge and be lifted
To pound against rocks
Or caress the sand again.
I'm awash in acceptance, surrender, cyclic sea change.
I'm always supported.
There's nowhere to fall.
The breathing of the ocean has transformed the earth.
Slow but relentless,
Powerful, gentle.
Atoms of shapeless water
Lap cliffs into sand
Erode calcified thinking
Slowly exposing beauty,
Bringing agates to light.

Valentine's Day

This was a day my Libra was strong
Not nicely balanced or even-keeled,
But tipping this way then that.
This was a day I made lots of cards
Felt focused and artful.
But after I finished
My critic took over,
Casually commenting,
"They're really quite awful!"
This was a day of cats yowling loudly
Fiona, the sneak, was behaving quite badly.
This was a heart day.
I forgot all about it.
No one reminded me.  :-(
This was a day I saw the first robin,
Goldfinches beginning to glow.
Two flickers flirting.
Spring's really coming!
This was a day I wanted some company,
Longed for connection,
Reveled in solitude,
Wished it would snow.
02/14/2016

My Mother

Today my heart broke open
A rose opening with such an ache of magnanimity
that its petals spilled into tears.
Today my love for my mother ran pure
Unadulterated by
Resistance
Judgment
Resentment.
Today I looked into the mirror of my ancestors and saw strength;
A gift, not a curse.
Fine clay to shape and transform,
Not mud to be cast aside as worthless,
Wishing I were something different.
Today my heart unfolded like a lotus,
Revealing the true essence of my mother
And her mother
And her mother before her --
Like matryoshka dolls.
Today I was grateful to be part of that feminine lineage.
Today my mother held me in a glow of unconditional love.
Letting go of all the weighty trappings I had
Placed upon her memory
Has set me free to love myself.
02/03/16

Marx's Tomb

Today was a day of fingers dancing
on keyboard letters
Slow waltzes spinning numbers into spreadsheets
Then tapping lightly as Inspiration
transported them, shaping stories in NETMA.
Today I wrote well if I say so myself.
Today I laughed a lot.
Today I was dumbfounded by ignorance:
Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
That is a grave question indeed!
Today was a day I felt strong;
connected to Earth.
I could feel its currents like subtle caresses.
Today I liked being alive.
Today as I drove home, orange clouds tinged with pink
glowed in the West, pregnant with snow.
Today I was grateful I stayed late at work
just so I could watch the sky.

I want a magic wand!

Today eight Steller's Jays were all abuzz
when I opened the back door
to give them their daily fix of peanuts.
I swear they were saying "Hey!  She's here!"
Today I felt their excitement
and treasured their presence.
Today I wondered what gift the disharmony
and tension at work held for me.
Today I tried to discern what part
I play in all that.
I have to own what is reflected:
control, judgement, wanting to separate.
Today it was hard to keep love in my heart.
Today I fell into resistance.
Today I wanted a magic wand:
I'd sprinkle love and empowerment
and acceptance throughout my workplace.
Hell -- I'd initiate a downpour of love!
Open the floodgates!
Love starts with me.
Maybe I'm the wand?

Money, Honey!

(this is a rap...think Eminem)
Money.
The effluent
of affluence
defoliating dreams,
felling ideals,
clogging streams of consciousness.
The fluency
of currency
influencing reams of images
pretending to be authentic
voices of the soul.
Speaking in tongues of desire
to acquire;
conspiring
to strip,
rip,
nip
any shred of decency.
Shrouding the rawness of my hungers
in false cravings.
I wonder
when the ravening will cease.
The fingers stop groping,
hoping for increasingly
large handfuls of stuff
to titillate,
mire my mind
in the gyres of possession,
quelling higher callings
with a procession
of temptations
that
pull
me
down.
Suck my spirit
until my essence is gone,
spewed into the womb of cash registers
frozen in barren assets.
A landscape littered
with dollar signs.

Death of a friend

Today was a day of sad news
A friend died last night.
My God.
I didn't say goodbye.
No more quick repartee's!
Friendly lunches.
No more next times.
Today was a day I wondered
if Death sends subtle signals,
leaves small notes in unlikely places:
a trail of bread crumbs to follow
right up to His door.
Today I cast a net back in time
to see if something had slipped by me.
Any sign of a summons?
It came up empty.
Today I affirmed my joy in Being.
I'm not ready to slip into darkness.
There's too much I haven't done!
My heart has too recently opened!
I have more love to learn,
more forgiveness to practice.
There's something inside me
that has yet to manifest
before Breath leaves me.